summer wrap

Here in pictures are our summer highlights...

Volleyball tournaments, they did so well this year!

 mowing our yard

 mowing the neighbors yard

 a monkey jumping on mommy's bed

 Free wine for daddy's at Sugarloaf Winery. Happy Father's Day!

 many evenings at the Rio

 snacks on the steps

blueberry picking, 50 lbs this summer!

these 2 :)

 beach time begins!

 zoo

This is after Chloe's first, and probably not last, visit to the ER.
She broke her ulna & her radius :(

 beach time round 2

our family's favorite place to nap

 

another great friend, Caleb.
We miss the Devries and love having the Loftness's in our home!

 

 just how I pictured my little girl, i guess

getting into trouble (this is under Danny's supervision :)

playdates,  boys being boys!

and finally, our answered prayer due in February :)

5 years ago today...

began the best days of our lives.  Happy Anniversary to us!

glory baby's due date

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father,

There is no shadow of turning with Thee;

Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not

As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!

Morning by morning new mercies I see;

All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—

Great is Thy faithfulness,” Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,

Sun, moon and stars in their courses above,

Join with all nature in manifold witness

To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,

Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide;

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,

Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

the things they say

Danny and I have laughed so much recently at the things our kids say.  This is why I started a blog and I have done a terrible job at recording them, but here's a few I remembered..

We were walking in Target, and a man with a heavy beard is walking towards us. Noah excitedly,  points his finger at him and shouts, "Look mom, it's John the Baptist!"

Noah is so affectionate and is verbalizing more and more his love for us.  Yesterday on our walk, he randomly pauses, looks at me and says, "Mom, I love you, I love daddy, and I love Chloe."

My sweet husband blessed me today with a planned trip to go so our dear friends, the Kauflin's. He failed to inform me that I would be traveling solo on the way there.  (I am still struggling with this). So he looks at Noah and says, "Noah, tell mommy she can fly by herself. She'll be okay."  My wise son responds, "She can't! She needs you!"

And then there's little Chloe who recently picked up on my name and calls me, "Meema" sometimes. Well today she picked up on what Danny calls me, and when she needed my attention called, "babe, babe, babe!"

We were expecting our newborn this week, and my heart is sad and still grieving.  But we have learned to be content with where our family is now and are grateful for the two precious lives that the Lord has placed in our life at this time.  I was so grateful for these joyful moments today that reminded me of how undeserved I am to have all that He has given me, and how I have no reason to doubt the faithful hand of our Sovereign God, who in His timing, works all things together for our good.

an hour in the life of Chloe

We had a lovely breakfast at the Rio's Corner Bakery. Noah, Chloe and I headed to the gazebo to watch the ducks while Danny took our trash in.  A few minutes into watching, I walked away for a quick second to see if Danny knew where we were.  I think about 2 steps later I hear Chloe, "Oh no, boot (her word for shoe) bye-bye, boot bye-bye!" I looked down and Chloe has one shoe on, and sure enough Noah informs me that Chloe's croc is swimming. I had to laugh (I think I knew Danny would find a way to rescue her shoe).  Danny arrives and the croc slowly kept drifting to the center.  

This croc is an important investment to us. Our kids were crocs, and only crocs, 3 out of the 4 seasons a year.  We still had 2 seasons to go. We thought we could just wait & do the paddle boats which didn't open for another 2 hours. On our way to the boats we ran into maintenance people, and they had a genius and probably illegal idea. He through these massive rocks past the shoe, and the ripples they created drew the croc to shore-15 rocks later.  Ahhhh.

 drifting away

 rescuers at the scene

                                      

Cinderella's shoe finds it's rightful owner :)

Catching up...

I have so much catching up to do...

Noah started school in January.  He absolutely loved it.  He learned so much in such a short period of time. He was always so chatty on the way home from the excitement.  I loved all the crafts that he has made that have turned into my wall decor.  One day on the way home, he showed me what he made, and said, "Daddy's gonna love it!"

        

We did our annual trip to the Cherry Blossoms as a family this year.  We packed a picnic lunch and the kids enjoyed being outside all afternoon.  Noah enjoyed watching all the airplanes and seeing all the diggers at the different construction sites.  Chloe was just happy to be out and about.  She loves stroller rides. She often hops into our stroller in our garage, and says "bye!!!" AND yes that needed all 3 exclamation points. So Noah will push her back & forth on our sidewalk. Anyways, although only two trees had blossomed when we went, we kept our tradition!
                                  

We also took a family trip with the Devries' to Great Wolf Lodge, and the kids actually did great and had a great time.  Danny and I had a blast going down all the slides too when we got a chance.  Noah loved the wave pool and the slides, and Chloe could have played in the water all day.  She was too fearless, and it was a fight at times to convince her that we had to hold her in 4 foot water :)  It was a good time getting our kids who had been cooped up and sick all winter out, especially out with there best buddies.

And finally, we've been waiting a year for our trip to our Hawaii.  Thanks to Danny's really hard work, he had a successful year at Dell last year and were able to go on the club trip.  My mom was suppose to watch the kiddos, but broke her shoulder a couple months ago. We weren't sure we were going to go until a few days prior when the babysitting situation all worked out. My trooper mom still made it out for the week just to be a familiar face to the kids, and did more than she should have to care for them. I love her so much!

Anyways, I say that all because I was so discouraged about going and definitely had doubts.  I'm SO grateful that it all worked out. I think the best part of the trip was that our good friends (and neighbors!) Paul & Lauren went with us.  We created good memories relaxing, drinking "moi tais," going down water slides 10 consecutive times as 5 year olds, dancing to the 80's, chanting songs with our French friends, and just eating & spending all the cash that was given to us.  We really love every minute we get to spend with them.  More importantly, the last month or so for me have been marked with so much sadness and anxiety.  It was so good to have time undistracted time to relax and be with good company.  I don' think it was coincidence that Paul & Lauren moved into our neighborhood shortly before we miscarried. We have benefited so much from their care and friendship to us.

 80's Party!

Then there's every day life.
                                      

falling in love with our little girl

\

Chloe went through a phase where ALL she wanted was ice ALL the time.  She would scream "I!" until she got her wish.

being a good brother

Noah wants to be outside all the time.  He comes to our room at 6 am and asks if he can outside.  We've eaten breakfast and lunch out there because he doesn't want to come in.  Its the first thing he asks for when he wakes up.  And when Danny comes home every day from work he asks if he can mow the lawn.  Yesterday he so badly wanted to mow, and Danny had already mowed a few days ago, that we just went ahead and mowed the neighbors yard! He loves the to mow, weed-whack and then blow the grass.

I BLEW IT!

Yesterday was my amazing wife's birthday and I blew it.  You would think that after being married for 4 and 1/2 years I would have this down by now but I don't.  What should have been a day that was filled with fun, laughter and encouragement was anything but that.  Honey - I'm so sorry.

I do want to say that I'm grateful that despite all of the ways that I screwed up your birthday, I'm glad we were still able to go out for dinner and enjoy each other's company (Devries - thanks again for watching our kiddos last minute).  Thank you for forgiving me last night.  Thank you for being patient with me even though it seems you often have to tell me the same thing numerous times before it sticks in my thick head.  Thank you for being humble and continuing to open your life to me and sharing your thoughts/concerns/observations/etc.

You spur me on to be more like Jesus.  You remind me of Him and how even though I mess up a lot He is always quick to forgive and slow to become angry.  I'm grateful that you're my wife and can't believe how quickly 4 and 1/2 years can go by. I LOVE YOU and am so glad to be your hubster.

all my love,
danny

Food for my soul

Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him. (Psalm 126:5–6)

There is nothing sad about sowing seed. It takes no more work than reaping. The days can be beautiful. There can be great hope of harvest.

Yet the psalm speaks of “sowing in tears.” It says that someone “goes forth weeping, bearing the seed for sowing.” So why are they weeping?

I think the reason is not that sowing is sad, or that sowing is hard. I think the reason has nothing to do with sowing. Sowing is simply the work that has to be done even when there are things in life that make us cry.

The crops won’t wait while we finish our grief or solve all our problems. If we are going to eat next winter, we must get out in the field and sow the seed whether we are crying or not. If you do that, the promise of the psalm is that “you will reap with shouts of joy.” You will “come home with shouts of joy, bringing your sheaves with you.” Not because the tears of sowing produce the joy of reaping, but because the sheer sowing produces the reaping, and you need to remember this even when your tears tempt you to give up sowing.

So here’s the lesson: When there are simple, straightforward jobs to be done, and you are full of sadness, and tears are flowing easily, go ahead and do the jobs with tears. Be realistic. Say to your tears: “Tears, I feel you. You make me want to quit life. But there is a field to be sown (dishes to be washed, car to be fixed, sermon to be written).”

Then say, on the basis of God’s word, “Tears, I know that you will not stay forever. The very fact that I just do my work (tears and all) will in the end bring a harvest of blessing. So go ahead and flow if you must. But I believe (I do not yet see it or feel it fully) — I believe that the simple work of my sowing will bring sheaves of harvest. And your tears will be turned to joy.”

~ from John Piper's Daily Devotional

"Elijah or Emma?"

February was a rough month.  The kids and myself were sick so much and ALL our plans got cancelled.  Literally every weekend I went in my calendar and just deleted the plans. Need I mention my fall into self-pity. Then I came to the last week of February and deleted, "Elijah or Emma?"  That was the week we were suppose to find out who would be the next addition.  It's hard not to think I would have been half way there.  I still find myself tearful at times, clinging tightly to my will.  It's a fight to look upward and not inward. Yet God has been faithful to remind me how His ways are much higher than mine. Looking back at times of trial, the wisdom of God is the one attribute that brings me the most comfort.  I don't need to look further than the cross.  That is where God's greatest wisdom for my life was displayed for me to see.  There I received undeserved love and mercy from the God I trust in.  And that unsearchable wisdom is the same wisdom that plans all the details of all my days.  This wisdom is perfect and I know He is withholding nothing good from me.

Funny sayings

Danny & Noah were reading the Bible on the couch and this is what I overheard...
Danny: Noah, do you remember who that is? (pointing to one of the characters)
Noah with full excitement: That's John the bagel!

Noah, you love your Bible and you love your bagels :)

my man & your dad

I know I blog about Daddy sometimes on birthdays, father's day & anniversaries, but I just want you to know that I don't scramble for words on those days, and my heart truly overflows with love for him on a daily basis.  I am always blessed on mornings such as today. Daddy traveled this week for work and sat in an airport yesterday evening waiting for a flight as they were being cancelled & delayed.  He arrived home at 2 in the morning.  Yet, this morning he woke up with you guys (so I could sleep), got you dressed, fed you & played with you for an hour before going to work.   It was so cute.  He played tag with Noah and then he had you both on him for a horse ride.  This selflessness & strength doesn't come from dad, it comes from the Lord.  He has poured out his grace on daddy's life, and we get to be the recipients of his selfless and sacrificial love. This wasn't a one time thing.  It seriously is every day that he puts mommy and you kiddos first. The only time he has asked for time to himself is when he's sick. 

Love,  I am so unbelievably grateful that I get to be your wife. You left me in awe this morning- that God would bless me with you as a husband, and us together as his children.  Thank you for the way you ended this crazy week, reminding me of the grace & love of Jesus.  I love you!

Life

We are doing well but I've definitely have had some sad days.  I've been distracted with the rounds of sicknesses in our family the past 2 week.  I am counting the days to the spring, but at the same time trying to make the most of the time we have with our 2 not-so little ones. Noah & Chloe have grown so much in the past few weeks.  We are just loving this fleeting time we have with them.

Noah, you've outgrown your fall wardrobe.  I was told you would be slowing down, but you continue to get taller! You started pre-school and you absolutely love it.  I love all the crafts you make and the conversations we have on the way home from school.  The other day you showed me what you made and said, "Daddy's gonna love it!" And today we drove past the diggers and you said, "Let's go check it out mom!" Of course we did :)

Chloe, you are becoming more and more adventurous.  You can climb up to the top bunk and you get into everything.  The other day I found you dipping your crackers in the toilet and eating them.  you are talking so much and I love to hear your sweet voice.  You're now saying, "Tayta, Gido, nigh-nigh, happy, no-no-no (while pointing her finger), all done", and you say "poo-poo" when I sniff your diaper.  You really make us laugh.

It's crazy how much has happened in a couple months.  I just want to clone them and box them up for later. My dear husband was trying to serve me and accidentally deleted all my pictures from iphoto.  I am still in the retrieval process. Hopefully I can post some soon.

glory baby

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."

-2 Corinthians 4:16-18


Our glory baby,

My time with you will never be forgotten.  The silence of the sonogram was the most painful sound I had heard.  I didn't want that to be the last glance I had at you.  Never had I imagined how difficult it would be for us to part with you after having you for a short 12 weeks.  You had already become such a big part of our family.  We had a stocking hung for you, once your ears developed, Noah started talking to you.  You may have not heard him over your sister's loud voice :) We've been anxiously waiting to find out more about you, your gender, who you would look like, your personality, and we've been counting down the weeks for your arrival since day 1. We loved you more than we knew.
But you are a blessed child.  As much as we would have loved to have kept you, the Lord had something far better than we could have offered.  You have passed through the sin & suffering of this world into the eternal & joyful presence of your Maker. You make us long more for heaven and turn our eyes away from the temporary things of this world. In the days and months to come we will still be grieving, but our God has been so near to our broken hearts and our crushed spirits.  As you rejoice with the saints above, we rejoice with the saints down here below.  We have an amazing church body here on earth.  He has been faithful to give us peace and comfort, and we know that only comes through knowing Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior.  This is the hope that we have and for this we are most grateful.  We don't need to worry or wonder, because the Truth has been revealed to us. We love you and we long to rejoice with you at our Father's throne soon!

Love,
Mommy, Daddy, Noah & Chloe

"I will bless the LORD at all times;
his praise shall be continually in my mouth.
My soul makes its boast in the LORD;
let the humble hear and be glad.
Oh magnify the LORD with me,
and let us exalt his name together!

I sought the LORD, and he answered me
and delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant,
and their faces shall never be ashamed...

Oh taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him have no lack...

When the righteous cry for help,
the Lord hears and delivers them out of their troubles.
The Lord is near to the broken hearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.

Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the Lord delivers him out of them all."

-Psalms 34

As I read this passage in the pre-op room, I couldn't help but rejoice that I truly felt this way.  My heart is so prone to anger and bitterness,  but my heart was guarded from that.  As Danny and I grieved together, we experienced much peace. We felt everyone's prayers and found comfort in the emails and scriptures that were sent to us as we waited in the pre-op room. We needed so much help within a short period and the Lord provided all that we needed through you. Hannah gladly took Chloe off our hands the morning of, the Winn's picked up Noah from his first day of school, my loving and supernatural mother came and took every load off my shoulder here at home, and the comfort of your emails and texts overflowed our inboxes. Thank you friends for displaying the love of Christ and his faithfulness to us! Thank you for your thoughts, your prayers, your presence and your friendship. We love you and are so grateful for you all!

Christmas

December was such a fun and enjoyable month and we were able to spend so much time with family & friends.  Danny had a lot of time off from work and we had a lot of fun just hanging out as a family.  Also, Chloe started walking and saying "me, daddy, and Wa-wa (Noah) " and Noah potty trained in 2 days! :) 

We did our usual activities.  We put up the tree the day after Thanksgiving.  We made treats for the neighbors, and we did our annual Christmas cookies at Mom-mom and Grandpa's house. We had Christmas Eve dinner with Danny's family and Christmas day with my family.   

the only picture I took on Christmas day :(

Noah turns 3

Noah,

Today you turned 3.  This past year has been so enjoyable as you've learned to do so much.  We love to hear you talk in complete sentences and carry actual conversations with you.  We always giggle in between because you are using new words and you sound so cute.  You love to sing and dance and just be silly especially if Chloe is watching you.  You love your guitar and now you can sing several more songs.  We went to the library this past weekend and picked out several books with guitars in them so we could read together.  I love to read to you and sometimes you read to me because you know what's coming next. You absolutely love anything that has to do with tractors.  (We don't know if the ornament we got you will make it to the tree). You are so affectionate and you melt our hearts when you initiate hugs & kisses towards us all.  You are a happy kid and you love being with your friends & family.  You love to help me me bake and cook.  You have become so helpful in the house helping me unload the dishwasher and care for Chloe.  You love to do EVERYTHING daddy and simply enjoy being with him and running errands with him especially to Home Depot.  We just absolutely love you and are so happy we get to be your mommy & daddy.  Happy Birthday my sweet boy!

Happy weed wacking!

 best buddies