Grace

"For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace" - John 1:14-18

When I found out we were pregnant with the 4th, my heart was not at ease. There were sleepless nights, anxiety attacks and lots of tears. We had dreamed of four children, but we had received medical counsel and care from others that enduring through another pregnancy & recovery would not be wise for us.  I actually prayed for a while that I would be content with this, and learned contentment rather quickly. Three was good and plenty, and I was happily set on being a family of 5. BUT GOD, had a different plan for us and wanted this 4th baby in our life.  Danny soon built up the faith for the 4th and of course thrilled, while I was terrified of whats to come. I remember the initial prenatal visits honestly finding comfort in the thought that, "I could still miscarry."  

This has not been an easy pregnancy, especially while caring for 3 other ones.  I knew I couldn't do another pregnancy, but what I have learned these past 9 months is that "I" haven't.   The Lord has truly carried us, and everything that I had feared has been quite distant and we have experienced nothing but grace and peace.  I started off having lots of questions about God's purposes, his will, his discipline and his mercy. I was just all over the place. But through the help of Danny & friends (yes by name, because I want my kids to know how much these girls mean to mommy), Marilyn, Lauren, Annie, Ally, Hannah & Kristine, they have helped me shift my eyes of my self, and my limited understanding, to Jesus and his unending love and wisdom.  What he has shown me is far greater than what I may never understand. It is from Christ's completed work on the cross that I have no reason to doubt that he will meet us in difficult times to come. It is from him that we have received grace for each moment up until now, and there are no signs of this fountain of grace ending now.  I feel like I've been drenched in it at times. So many have told me that they've been praying for us, and I know they have. I have concluded this pregnancy overwhelmed at  God's kindness in allowing us to have this baby, grateful for his faithful care through our church and close friends, full of faith that He will sustain us for the days and nights to come, and of course full of joy to meet our little girl, Grace.

We had other names in mind until this name came to my mind one afternoon.  The other names then made no sense to me, and I couldn't even think of anything more suitable.  I told Danny, he immediately agreed and there was no turning back. Grace is to come...

 

last week as a family of 5

Yep, probably my first and last "diy" project, at least for a while...