I'm still alive...

This might be the longest I've gone without a post, but Chloe dumping water on my (now recycled) mac had a lot to do with that! But here I am with my new mac trying to keep the blog alive.  So much has happened and so much has been said! I know I will not capture it all, but I keep reminding myself that even the moments and memories here on earth are temporary. They are indeed wonderful blessings, and I love to look back at all these times, but what I have to look forward to will far surpass any of my favorite times here on earth :)

In the past 4 months:
We went on one last club trip with Dell to Mexico;
Dad started working from home and transitioned to a new job;
Dad went to Seattle for 2 weeks for job training (A very hard 2 weeks, but not to hard for the Lord, a very great and gracious sustainer.);
We went to the Outer Banks with most of the Suttons;
Daddy played some awesome volleyball at the Pottstown Rumble (He's still got it!)
Noah has learned how to swim, read and ride a bike without his training wheels;
Chloe has learned all her alphabet, is learning sounds and is loving pool time,
Eli started walking at 15 months, eating everything in sight, and has turned to a blonde. He is saying lots of words and repeats almost any sound or action Noah and Chloe make. I love how cheerful and social he is. Today we went to Costco and he was turning heads left and right. I had to disinfect him for all the hands that reached at him.
And I'm doing well these days. I love life with my 3 kids. I am feeling as close to normal as I probably will ever be.  I am loving the church we have become a part of, and in the past month our dear friends, the Kauflin's, have returned to MD to be a part of our church.  I am just trying to enjoy the summer and my time with the kids. Noah will be in school full time this coming year so I want to make the most of it. We are just enjoying the simple things in life :)

 Happy Father's Day

 Chloe had her first soccer season

 sleeping-in in our bed

 paddle boats at the rio

 first mommy-daughter date

 pre-K graduation

 packing for the outer banks, pictures to come!

 our first garden output 

 this looks like Noah 4 years ago

 Mexico

 pouring rain, but playing in Pottstown

 1st buzz

leaving the house sucessfully

 I never knew how much I would love having a porch

Danny's new inside rep

And this year for the 4th we celebrated on the 3rd with the Rohwer's & the Averill's. We took a train ride in Walkersville to see the fireworks. The kids had a great time and did a better job staying up than I did.

More good times with these guys to come...

Happy Birthday to me!

Danny continues to keep the tradition alive. This has been a birthday delight for me every April. There's something about being surrounded by the cherry blossoms and walking around the tidal basin that I just love. This year we were able to offload the kids (although I like bringing them too sometimes) and do an overnight in D.C. We enjoyed an amazing lunch at The Old Ebbitt Grill and a less amazing dinner at 1789.  It was a refreshing time getting away even just for a short bit. I even had to time take a nap!

Thank you love for a wonderful time, for having the kids pick out flowers and treats for me, and for being the best gift given to me.  I love you guys!

Always a Happy Easter

But the angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. He is not here, for he has risen, as he said." - Matthew 28:6

This past Sunday, our pastor quoted an excerpt from the Chronicles of Narnia. It ended with Lucy asking, "But what does it all mean?" And as he read through it, my heart was excited. It's the excitement of seriously one of my favorite books, and the excitement of knowing what it was that C.S. Lewis was trying to portray.  I can't imagine having been there and to have heard the angel's words spoken from Matthew. I like being here in the world's timeline, and to look back and see the whole story and now see what it all means. As I am reading through the book of John, I am so aware of how grateful I am to have the words of God in my hand. I get to see how God's plan unfolds and how his purposes were fulfilled. It is really exciting, because it's not a fairy tale. This is real life. There is purposeful meaning to our lives. The death of Jesus, the perfect sacrifice, was necessary for me to be made right before a perfect God. And his resurrection was necessary to prove his power has conquered all (ALL) my sin and death. "He has risen." He is alive. He is still working, working a ton in my heart, every day helping me fight the good fight. Being a mom has made me more chronically aware of my weaknesses and the selfish desires of my heart.  And being in Christ, bought by the precious blood, has made me more aware of his forgiveness and the unending grace and strength he gives to sustain and help me (and my kids). His love is deep. It went really far for me. Yet, it goes further still because this isn't even the end of the story, because the happy ending is yet to come! (I wish I had the movie to watch that ending!)

"Grace and peace, oh how can this be

The matchless King of all

Paid the blood price for me

Slaughtered lamb, what atonement You bring!

The vilest sinner's heart

Can be cleansed can be free

Oh, what an amazing mystery

What an amazing mystery

That Your grace has come to me."

pj's & ice cream

Anywhere there's free we are there, and so are the Devries. One of our favorite pastimes with the Devries is eating ice cream together.  Our metabolism is a bit slower than theirs, so we have to eat a little less than they do. The kids had a great time eating free ice cream in their pjs in 40 degree weather at Brusters.  We hope to do it again next year! 

deleting pictures

Danny and I are big purgers, even when it comes to photos. Sometimes it's just hard to narrow down so many pictures down to a reasonable amount. How many pictures of Chloe in Noah's hat do we need?...

that face!

 that expression!!

 that dimple!!!

Needless to say i kept them all. I want to look back at ALL their cuteness.

Eli is 1

Eli,

I have a lot of memories from this past year I don't think I'll forget, at least not for a while. I tried really hard to remember and truly cherish the many moments I had with my potentially last baby, both fun memories and even the difficult ones.  You definitely have been babied this past year, and I have made you a momma's boy. (I love that you prefer me over daddy right now).  I love how you giggle when you see me, how content you are as long as I'm holding you, and how you put your head on my shoulder when you aren't feeling well. You have been the most snuggly of the 3 and I don't want you to outgrow my arms. You have a very contagious smile. Your eyes from little rainbows when you smile and you always throw in a giggle when people greet you.  Although you are a momma's boy I do have a close competitor, Tayta. You have learned to say "dada" and even "tt-tt ", and still no "mama."  When Tayta comes you get so excited you just laugh and reach out to her. She has made sure you haven't missed out on any attention as the 3rd child, and she has definitely made sure you haven't missed any meals or an ounce of milk.  You are finally eating well and eating everything. It''s been hard for you as you have been teething your whole first year! You have somewhere around 10 teeth already! We also moved you to Noah's room, and I love how you stand in the crib facing him trying to babble with him.  You have lots of energy and you have to know what is going on all the time.  And if I am feeding you with the rest of us, you only want to eat what we are eating. You really only cry when you need something, when you come out from splashing in the bath tub, and when Chloe is less than 1 foot away from you. (She really does love you).

This past year has been very enjoyable having you in our family. I imagined for a long time what you might be like, and I just love how the Lord always blesses beyond my imagination.  You have been a constant reminder to me of his faithful care to me, which has given me faith to trust in what He wills for our family.  I am very grateful for the kindness of the Lord to allow us to have you in our lives along with Noah and Chloe.  Our love for you seems immeasurable, and yet it will never amount to the love that Jesus has for you.  I look forward to telling you more about him and all that he has done for mommy & daddy. We love you.

First we celebrated Grandpa...

And then you..

getting through the winter

Winter is not my favorite season, but aside from colds every other week, I have really enjoyed my time with the kids.  We are playing lots of games and puzzles together, building train tracks, and learning our numbers and alphabets. Both Noah and Chloe are loving reading time more and Danny and I love reading our books from when we were little to them.

Noah, you and I had our first date this month. You wanted to go to Chipotle and then Dunkin Donuts for dessert. And yes, mommy let you finish a whole donut trying not to cringe. Then you said you wanted to do 1 more thing. You wanted to go to the store and try to find Chloe a bracelet because hers broke.  I had so much fun being with just you.  Recently we moved Eli into your room.   One time I checked on you at night and I found Eli cuddled with your Bruce. You gave it to him to try to console him when he was crying and it worked! You just started doing summersaults on the floor and you are quite proud of yourself.  You love to wear your shepherds costume and transform it into an army outfit and you make a sword for yourself out of blocks. I had a meeting with your teacher and she spoke highly of you. You are learning quickly and are ready for kindergarten.  You just lost your first tooth and you told Chloe recently that when you get older you were going to marry Makenna :) 

Chloe, you are very much into girly things. You change your outfit multiple times a day and resort to wearing the same 4 things. I went in for a hair cut this month, and while I was gone you decided you needed one too and cut yourself some bangs.  I must say it could've been worse. You want your nails painted every day, and you want to wear a necklace all the time.  The other day while you were playing, you set my necklace beside you. Daddy had told you that you couldn't play with it because Eli might get to it.  While you weren't looking daddy took it away. About 10 minutes later you came upstairs crying saying that Eli bit you while you were trying to take the necklace (that you thought he swallowed) out of his mouth. You still talk a lot. A lot. The other day we had a visitor for Eli, and you interrogated her and talked your head off the whole time. Even when she was already out the door you slid underneath me by the front door and shouted at her, "we can't eat cupcakes and donuts because it's not healthy!" 

Eli, you just started crawling this month and you love every minute in your siblings presence.  I love how you try to look around my shoulders if you think you hear them.  You are giving high fives and greeting people and you never hold back a smile.  You are very social and prefer people over toys, except for the vacuum.  I vacuum a lot because you are so fascinated like Chloe and Noah were. You have been spoiled by me because I never want to put you down. I want you to fit in my arms forever. 

Danny and I had a nice break from the cold winter and enjoyed some time in 86 degree weather in Aruba.  I missed the kids so much while I was away, but they had tons of fun with Tayta and Mom-mom and Grandpa. And now that we've been back, it's been rather enjoyable knowing we are about half way through the winter.

Sunny, Beautiful aruba 

I laugh everytime

Eli with Noah's Bruce

Snow days...

 they call themselves "worker boys" and Caleb recruited Noah for his ice selling business

Christmas Festivities

Our church put on a Christmas play ...

 my Shepherd boy

 Oh if I could just hear Caleb sing Silent Night one more time. It brought me to tears.

 

Chloe had a lead part carrying the star in her little play at school

According to Chloe there are 2 Jesus'- one in Heaven and one baby Jesus in Chapel

 Eli's first Christmas - Did not want any help 

 much better

3 of my favorite gifts

Christmas

For Christmas this year I thought we would take things easy and keep things simple.  At least I thought  I tried. Our advent calendar looked lovely on the tree and that's all that we did with that.   Danny actually ended up traveling quite a bit during the weeks before anyways, and our weekends were filled up with parties and events.  So we thought it would be fun to do one adventure as a family this month.  We picked up a pizza to eat in the car and headed to 34th Street in Baltimore.  We went during traffic, in the rain, 2 kids, 1 crying baby, 3 hours total and a memory created.  Maybe we missed something, but if I had known that it was only 20 town homes that were decorated we would have just circled around our neighborhood.  It was lovely, but the kids were impressed for about 1 minute and that was it.  Actually, if you ask them what their highlight was, it was eating pizza in the car.  On top of that I picked up a snack I don't normally buy as a treat for the kids.  They refused to eat it and said it was junk food. I didn't know if I should be upset or grateful.  After that disappointing evening I started feeling weak and achy.  I woke up the next morning, two days before Christmas, with the flu. It's a couple days after Christmas and I'm still in bed.  I made it downstairs to watch the kids open their gifts and eat a quick Christmas dinner, and that took a great deal of energy.  I don't know if my blood knows how to flow if I'm upright anymore.

So I laid in bed for hours upon hours doing what I do best, think and over think. What happened with taking things easy? What does the Lord want me to gain from this?  I felt bad that the kids were "missing out" on Christmas.  I can already see that that they actually didn't miss out on anything.   Our two important traditions were kept.  Danny read the Christmas story with the kids and I was so encouraged to hear Noah understand the story of how and why Jesus came to earth.  I also had made birthday muffins earlier in the week and we sang happy birthday to Jesus, and thanked him for coming to save us.  The kids were really excited about that. And while we didn't get to go to Mom-moms and Grandpas for Christmas Eve, Danny made the evening exceptional. He picked up some icing and built gingerbread houses with the kids using random items we had laying around the house. (Thanks to Ms. Ally for her culinary expertise). Christmas day, the kids got to spend ample time playing with Auntie Susan and have her build legos with them, and Chloe wanted her to tuck her into bed :) They had a sweet time with my sister who we don't get to see often. So those were just some added blessings!

While I would rather not be sick on Christmas and would have loved to be with the rest of the family, I trust the Lord has only good purposed in all our circumstances.  He has faithfully cared for me through this week, healing me physically, and mentally guarding my heart against self pity and bringing me back to his word.  I was very aware of how in my distress my concern was for worldly matters. The Lord took care of those things and blessed us beyond.  My friend Lauren sent this to me that week, and this was so true for me in those difficult moments...

"....And this is what God does again and again. He may be doing it for you in this Advent season—graciously and tenderly frustrating you with life that is not centered on Christ and filling you with longings and desires that can’t find their satisfaction in what this world offers, but only in the God-man.
What a Christmas gift that might be! Let all your frustrations with this world throw you onto the Word of God. It will become sweet—like walking into paradise. "

And from Hebrews,

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weakness, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

Happy 5th Birthday Noah

Noah,

I wish I could freeze the time because you are growing way too fast for me. You are gaining inches (in height) by the minute! This year you became a big brother to Eli, who adores you so much.  He laughs hard when you play with him and just the sight of you makes him smile. Chloe has accompanied you to school this year, and the teachers always tell me that you look after her on the playground.  She wants to learn all her upper case and lower case letters like  you.  You continue to be a quick learner.  You are now learning to write all your letters and are starting to sound out some words.  You outgrew your 48 piece puzzles too quickly and I need to get you some more challenging ones.  You love to build freely with legos and blocks and you have made some really creative airplanes and spaceships on your own.  You love to play outdoors whenever  possible and you are very into Disney's Planes (a little too much). To mommy and daddy, you have become a genuinely caring son who loves to offer a helping hand with out being asked.  Recently,  I  had to leave Eli crying in the high chair while attending to Chloe upstairs.  I was scrambling to get back to him because it's stressful to hear my babies cry.  After a very short period he was quiet and then I heard him laughing hysterically over and over.  I came downstairs and you had turned his high chair around and moved it towards the family room so he could watch you perform on the bouncy ball.  My goodness, what a sweet and compassionate little son we have!  So many of your friends are so drawn to you and love playing with you.  I have to sometimes cut into your room time so I can get some special time with you. I love to play tumbling towers and the matching game with you.  I still try to cradle you in my lap while I can, and sometimes I still try to carry you up the stairs because I don't want those days to be over.  Daddy is thoroughly enjoying his time with you especially now that you have taken an interest in his favorite sport, volleyball. You guys recently build your first legos together.  Anytime you ask to go with Daddy somewhere, you know he's going to say yes, because it brings him much joy that you always want to be with him and do whatever he's doing.  Noah, we love you so much and as much as I want to go back and replay the past 5 years, you give us so much to look forward to.  We are so grateful that you are a part of our family. Happy Birthday, our precious son!

Love,
Mommy & Daddy

 the anticipation of the balloons dropping

 lining up for the pinata

 so cute

 so confused