Update in words...

Sorry Kiddos, this has been the worst year of blogging and I'm afraid it's probably going to get worse. The good thing for Noah and Chloe is that now you are getting older, you can remember more for yourselves so there might be more focus on the little guys. Life has been very full. Mothering 4 children is no easy task.  I've pictured all the fun, but every season brings its challenges. I honestly have felt incredibly weak lately and very inadequate for this calling, and these harder times have left me feeling guilty and hopeless. It can be such a fight for faith. If there was no Jesus, if there was no death on the cross, if there was no powerful resurrection, if there were no mercies for all my imperfect days, and no hope for eternal life, THEN all then all I am doing here at home is worthless. BUT I have to trust God can redeem even our worst days for our good. I can honestly look back at these times and see how God has a firmer grip on me than I ever will have on him. At one point this past week I felt so desperate for God to show himself to me, and while i didn't get the "help"I was looking for I was gently reminded that he was there (thanks to a random text from a faithful and maybe prophetic friend). I am so grateful that He is unchanging and that nothing I do can make him love me more, and nothing I do will make him love me less. And I am so grateful for one of my favorite devotions from Spurgeons Morning & Evening that never fails to encourage my soul....

"Looking unto Jesus."

Hebrews 12:2

It is ever the Holy Spirit's work to turn our eyes away from self to Jesus; but Satan's work is just the opposite of this, for he is constantly trying to make us regard ourselves instead of Christ. He insinuates, "Your sins are too great for pardon; you have no faith; you do not repent enough; you will never be able to continue to the end; you have not the joy of his children; you have such a wavering hold of Jesus." All these are thoughts about self, and we shall never find comfort or assurance by looking within. But the Holy Spirit turns our eyes entirely away from self: he tells us that we are nothing, but that "Christ is all in all." Remember, therefore, it is not thy hold of Christ that saves thee--it is Christ; it is not thy joy in Christ that saves thee--it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that be the instrument--it is Christ's blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to thy hope, but to Jesus, the source of thy hope; look not to thy faith, but to Jesus, the author and finisher of thy faith. We shall never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul. If we would at once overcome Satan and have peace with God, it must be by "looking unto Jesus." Keep thine eye simply on him; let his death, his sufferings, his merits, his glories, his intercession, be fresh upon thy mind; when thou wakest in the morning look to him; when thou liest down at night look to him. Oh! let not thy hopes or fears come between thee and Jesus; follow hard after him, and he will never fail thee.

"My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesus' blood and righteousness:

I dare not trust the sweetest frame,

But wholly lean on Jesus' name."

Update in pictures...

Chloe loves art so for a date we went to the Amazing art studio and had some popcorn while we painted a cupcake together.

Cereal for dinner with some of our favorite friends 

And perhaps that sugar intake lead to Chloes 4 stitches that same night...

Kalahari Resort just to get away as a family, and well this one was a bit stressful, i think the local indoor pool will suffice for a couple more years.

We enjoyed a school play together

Eli and his best buddy Owen have a sweet friendship.  These peaceful playdates have been a such a blessing to you buddy (and to the mama's).

Grace has been given us a hard time at bedtime. Once I thought you finally fell asleep only to find that Noah had gone in and taken you out of the crib to rock you...

So Dad was away during that time and when he got home he insisted you "just cry it out". So after putting you down, you settled after 10 minutes of crying, he was convinced he solved the ongoing problem. However when dad and I headed to bed we realized he wasn't so heroic, but Chloe was...

 Chloe scooped you up this time and took you in. And sometimes you've returned the favor in your bed..

\

Happy Birthday to me. The cards you guys made were so thoughtful and hilarious. I think some left me crying. It's so sweet that Noah and Chloe can actually write their own cards now with no one to edit..

Daddy made his own dessert by combining some of my faves, chocolate and mint ice cream on an oreo pie crust (because I hate the cream) with dark chocolate covered strawberries. I loved the thoughtfulness.

I was really excited about these fun balloons dad found. I wasted time trying to make these for Chloes birthday and failed thanks to pinterest. Dad found them at the dollar store, 6 for a $1! (This is where the rolled eye emoji should be inserted)

Eli's first O's game (and Grace's too)

Easter Sunday, family picture accomplished

Camping and 1 picture of Chloe working...

But the ride home pretty much sums up our camping weekends...

Happy mothers day to me, muffins with Eli at school, daddy made breakfast, and a night at the Rio and some more hilarious cards that I have definitely saved. 

 

Gracie growing up and dressed to impress

Warmer weather (finally) means family bike rides!

The privileges of being older means staying up a little later but still pooping out...

And one time Noah, you were suppose to go to bed but insisted on eating a salad first. Of course I said yes!!!

Grace and Mommy joined you at school for a 2 mile run and lunch. Fun times. 

Squirt gun fights with our neighbors

Sleepover with your cousins! This was a first and hopefully not a last!

Eli, you fell asleep in my arms and it was so hard to move you to the couch because I know it probably won't happen again. I tried to enjoy it as long as I could, but I knew you would sleep better (and longer) if I moved you, but I still stayed beside you.