"The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps. " Proverbs 16:9
About a month ago, Danny and I decided for me to stop working so I could stay at home full time. This was not an easy decision. I loved my job, and despite the emotional, mental, and physical challenges I truly enjoyed being a surgical oncology nurse. So often I reminisce of all the wonderful moments I shared with the gifted staff and patients. I had an amazing supervisor, a fun and active working environment, many friends, and an overall rewarding career. Why would I let that all go? The pay was a blessing too, but that's really not what I miss until a holiday comes by :( I was only working part time towards the end, but through recurring circumstancs, I felt the Lord strongly tugging on my heart to come home. I had to rethink my priorities and my desires, and I felt an attack on my pride. I wanted to work. We didn't need me too, but I wanted to be that mom that could do it all. It was so hard letting go of a 6 year career I knew and did so well. I still needed the Lord then, but I was getting comfortable. I really do feel it's easier being at work sometimes than at home. I am definitely more aware of my dependenc on the Lord and growing in my trust in the Lord being a mom. It was hard to say goodbye to the nurses I loved and laughed with so much, and the patients I deeply cared for. I couldn't have asked for a better place to work. When I was in nursing school, one of the first thing I said was that I didn't want to be an oncology nurse. I didn't think I could handle it. Only the Lord knew what was best for me, and in his kindness, brought me to a unit I would've never thought existed. He was too kind. I plan on maintaining my friendships and am enjoying becoming more effective at home, especially in the kitchen :) Although I want to keep my license, the plan is to stay home for now. Down the road I would love to pick up a few shifts here and there, but only if the Lord wills.
