For Christmas this year I thought we would take things easy and keep things simple. At least I thought I tried. Our advent calendar looked lovely on the tree and that's all that we did with that. Danny actually ended up traveling quite a bit during the weeks before anyways, and our weekends were filled up with parties and events. So we thought it would be fun to do one adventure as a family this month. We picked up a pizza to eat in the car and headed to 34th Street in Baltimore. We went during traffic, in the rain, 2 kids, 1 crying baby, 3 hours total and a memory created. Maybe we missed something, but if I had known that it was only 20 town homes that were decorated we would have just circled around our neighborhood. It was lovely, but the kids were impressed for about 1 minute and that was it. Actually, if you ask them what their highlight was, it was eating pizza in the car. On top of that I picked up a snack I don't normally buy as a treat for the kids. They refused to eat it and said it was junk food. I didn't know if I should be upset or grateful. After that disappointing evening I started feeling weak and achy. I woke up the next morning, two days before Christmas, with the flu. It's a couple days after Christmas and I'm still in bed. I made it downstairs to watch the kids open their gifts and eat a quick Christmas dinner, and that took a great deal of energy. I don't know if my blood knows how to flow if I'm upright anymore.
So I laid in bed for hours upon hours doing what I do best, think and over think. What happened with taking things easy? What does the Lord want me to gain from this? I felt bad that the kids were "missing out" on Christmas. I can already see that that they actually didn't miss out on anything. Our two important traditions were kept. Danny read the Christmas story with the kids and I was so encouraged to hear Noah understand the story of how and why Jesus came to earth. I also had made birthday muffins earlier in the week and we sang happy birthday to Jesus, and thanked him for coming to save us. The kids were really excited about that. And while we didn't get to go to Mom-moms and Grandpas for Christmas Eve, Danny made the evening exceptional. He picked up some icing and built gingerbread houses with the kids using random items we had laying around the house. (Thanks to Ms. Ally for her culinary expertise). Christmas day, the kids got to spend ample time playing with Auntie Susan and have her build legos with them, and Chloe wanted her to tuck her into bed :) They had a sweet time with my sister who we don't get to see often. So those were just some added blessings!
While I would rather not be sick on Christmas and would have loved to be with the rest of the family, I trust the Lord has only good purposed in all our circumstances. He has faithfully cared for me through this week, healing me physically, and mentally guarding my heart against self pity and bringing me back to his word. I was very aware of how in my distress my concern was for worldly matters. The Lord took care of those things and blessed us beyond. My friend Lauren sent this to me that week, and this was so true for me in those difficult moments...
"....And this is what God does again and again. He may be doing it for you in this Advent season—graciously and tenderly frustrating you with life that is not centered on Christ and filling you with longings and desires that can’t find their satisfaction in what this world offers, but only in the God-man.
What a Christmas gift that might be! Let all your frustrations with this world throw you onto the Word of God. It will become sweet—like walking into paradise. "
And from Hebrews,
"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weakness, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
